• Emotional,  Healing,  Mental,  My Journey,  Wellness

    Suddenly My Late 40’s are Here – Now What?

    Turning 47 this past August felt different. Suddenly finding myself standing on the other side of life, firmly planted in my “late 40’s”. All the possibilities that have danced in front of me, goals to achieve, a book to write, living in my purpose, have all taken on a greater sense of urgency. Time no longer luxuriously stretching in front of me. I started asking myself the hard questions, the uncomfortable ones that shine a harsh light back on ourselves. When? When will I stop making excuses and start doing? Stop pushing off all my dreams for another day? Beginning to feel like I’m wasting this precious life. Still believing…

  • Emotional,  Healing,  My Journey,  Wellness

    A Magical Childhood

    The older I get, the more life lived, my gratitude for the childhood I experienced grows. Idyllic comes to mind. Even trying to tone it down, give a realistic view, I reconsider my word choice. Idyllic still stands. I grew up in a safe, suburban neighborhood, walking to school and the pool, riding our bikes and playing endless games of kick the can with our friends. Beautiful old trees lined the streets, houses a mixture of architecture styles, all built in the 1920s. Even now, when driving by and decide to detour down my old street, I’m filled with such happiness. I grew up in a tight-knit family, my two…

  • Emotional,  Healing,  Mental,  My Journey,  Physical,  Wellness

    Doubling Down on Self-Care

    It’s Thursday, two days after Election Day, and still so much confusion about the results. The mail-in ballot volume has been unprecedented and polling stations are not equipped to handle the massive number of votes. Am I the only person out there who can’t settle down, can’t focus? Today Thrive Global and Well & Good both had articles in their daily newsletters about how distracted people are, at least I’m not the only one. Being deeply affected by events out in the world is a relatively new feeling for me. My personal life is so full of ups and downs, always dictated by how my children are doing. Years passed…

  • Emotional,  Healing,  My Journey,  Wellness

    It’s Hard Being a Weekend Mama

    I’m a weekend mama who aches for my children every day. I am so tired, so bone tired, of squeezing all my mothering in to these little chunks of time. My kids rarely get irritated with me, or me with them. The painful reason is because we just aren’t together enough to get on each other’s nerves. Or even argue. We all sense that our 6 nights a month are too precious for that. Sadly, I noticed this tendency over the past few years while seeing them 8 hours a week. They intuitively grasped that it wasn’t worth losing any time. During the last several years of public visits, there…

  • Emotional,  Healing,  Mental,  My Journey,  Wellness

    How We Handle the Tough Days – Building Connection

    Difficult times in my life have been with issues that aren’t really talked about – alcoholism, domestic abuse and protecting my children from abuse. And because those subjects aren’t exactly topics for polite conversation, I often found myself either pretending to be okay or burrowing deep in my own space. The problem with those two choices is that when I came up out of my foxhole, I was alone. Either because I wouldn’t let people close, or because I had chosen to keep my troubles private. These behaviors, putting on a happy face and isolating, created a vacuum of connection. And the lonelier I became, those habits kept tightening their…

  • Emotional,  Healing,  Mental,  My Journey,  Wellness

    Compartmentalizing – How It Helps Me Cope with Hard Times that Don’t End

    Eight days pass from Thursday morning, when I drop my kids off after our overnight, to the following Friday when I pick them up again. Eight days to miss them, ache for them, worry about them. Eight days in a quiet house a few miles away. My mental health depends on my ability to cope with the abuse that characterized my first marriage and now surrounds my children. Now the trauma of my history is heightened by watching my children experience emotional violence in their relationships with their father. And knowing that no matter how hard I have tried to expose the abuse, protect them from it, keep them safe,…