I did it! A month of writing every day, tackling all my thoughts and feelings. If you scroll through my posts you’ll see that the idea for this website, for gather connect and power, actually came to me years ago, back in 2017, newly sober and full of hope. What took me three years to come back to It?
It was life, losing my children, the battle to get them home, the abuse, and just generally getting worn down by everything coming my way. But as always my kids are the light that shows me the path forward. I try so hard to be a parent that leads by example. And if I observe my children struggling in someway, or see actions of mine that could be better, I want to make that change, I can always be a better human for them.
How could I urge them to be courageous if I wasn’t leading from example? And what example is it as a parent, to be so consumed by fear, and ground down by heartache and grief, then you turn away from your purpose for three long years?
So after putting the website aside for three years, I’m back! It’s been like turning a faucet back on, all these years of my journalling, notes on essays, emails I send myself with story ideas…what an amazing feeling to gather all those thoughts and feelings together and do something! To get back my creative and intellectual flow, to know I am building something that hopefully will matter, all of which helps me feel more like “me”.
I am learning that the act of being brave, of day by day deliberately choosing put my truth out there, is helping me to build a new habit. That by taking brave actions, I am feeling so much braver and stronger. In control of my day and in building my life’s work, instead of being buffeted about my stress, anxiety and the daily worry for my children.
The act of connection is helping me to feel empowered!